Blake Hall
In a display of extreme paranoia, ISIS militants have captured and executed three pigeons for charges of espionage and treason. The pigeons were passing intel to an anti-ISIS group in Pakistan through secret messages inscribed on their feathers.
These executions took place without a fair trial.
Pigeon breeding was also recently banned by ISIS because bird penises are too scandalous. No, really.
Pigeons are currently flying over the Syrian border and seeking asylum in neighboring states. Godspeed, feathered friends.
For the rest of us at home, hug your pets and show the world that our beloved birds deserve a shot.