Did you know that dolphins have teeth? They do. And wild dolphins — just like sharks — will bite things (even people!) if they’re angry, threatened or hungry.

But not every bite from the swimming mammals are the identical. Some, as Vladimir Putin and his henchmen know, are more exemplary than others.

And, apparently, a certain aquatic zoo in Russia has ’em.

And because they do, they won lots and lots of money. From the former Soviet Union’s government.

Check this out, via Gawker:

This week, a Moscow aquarium reportedly won a normal-sounding $26,000 contract to supply Russia’s Ministry of Defense with five bottlenose dolphins with “perfect teeth, average length and a willingness to ‘display motor activity.’”

According to NBC News, Utrish Dolphinarium has promised to deliver the three male and two female dolphins “with all teeth intact … [and] no mucus from the blowhole” to the Defense Ministry by August 1. The network reports the Russian government did not respond to a subsequent request for comment about the totally unsuspicious purchase.

During the Cold War, both the United States and the Soviet Union developed military dolphin programs for detecting mines, patrolling waters and even harpooning enemy divers.

For resembling giant fish, dolphins are pretty damn intelligent. Of course, if you watched American television in the 1960s this isn’t a shock. But as any smart being, their powers and abilities can be used for either good or evil. Let’s hope these aforementioned flippers aren’t used to destroy a U.S. sub or endanger a gaggle of frogmen.

Who knows? Perhaps Putin has developed a taste for dolphin stew?

That’s an ugly thought, isn’t it? Sorry.