Former martial arts specialist and human wax figurine Chuck Norris — who achieved fame through an internet craze that associated him with outlandish, extraordinary facts and feats that were never true (and movies and TV) — wrote a column recently about the whole Jade Helm 15 martial law “thing”.

In it, he lays it on thick (we think?):

“The U.S. government says, ‘It’s just a training exercise.’ But I’m not sure the term ‘just’ has any reference to reality when the government uses it,” Norris wrote in his column. “Whatever Jade Helm 15 actually is, I think it is more than coincidental that the FBI director just confessed in February that the presence of ISIS can be felt in all 50 states of the U.S. and that the Pentagon is suddenly running its biggest military training exercise with every branch of the military across seven Southwestern states.”

He also praises Texas Governor Greg Abbott for this stunt, and mentions that he was a real nice guy for stopping by one of his recent karate charities.

Then, he starts getting chippy, and a little strange. He suggests that the United States military not train in … the United States … but rather, Mexico?

“If Washington wants to cool the embers of controversy, then it should quit stoking the fire, as with the posting of a map of Jade Helm 15 ‘just’ exercises that label some areas of the country, including Texas, as ‘hostile,'” Norris wrote. “I have an idea: If the government insists on running expanded military ops across seven Southwest states, why doesn’t it move all that ‘military training’ south and protect our borders at the same time?!”

It’s the following chunk of the column, though, that should’ve made the former Walker, Texas Ranger think, then reassess his stance and circle back to the heart of his argument, which in a roundabout way inferred that American citizens who volunteered to serve their country and put their lives on the line in the process were ready to brazenly (and without question, like robots) take over the country and hold it down effectively slapping the cuffs of martial law on our collective wrists.

“Concerned Texans and Americans are in no way calling into question our brave and courageous men and women in uniform,” Norris wrote. “They are merely following orders. What’s under question are those who are pulling the strings at the top of Jade Helm 15 back in Washington.”

To wrap it up, he tries to smooth it over with flowery patriot language, but window dressing is window dressing. He was never that good an actor.

“Friends, when it comes to freedom, we must question, verify and vet everyone and everything,” Norris wrote. “We must never check our brains or blindly trust, especially the government. Rather, we must fight until our dying breaths for liberty, especially when it appears those in power are trying to knock down Old Glory.”

TPM