Blake Hall
There’s this unwritten rule about performing on stages. If you happen to get up on one alongside other people (could be musicians or dancers, or in our case, narcissists) there’s a hidden ribbon in the sky, kind of like that blue mayonnaise ribbon, that says “if someone falls, you go help them up.”
Unwritten rules may be followed by upstanding members of society, but here here! Ted Cruz is a doggone swashbuckling legislator from Texas, and if there’s one thing you know about them, it’s that they squash rules — unwritten or otherwise — with the wide flat brim of their furry ten gallon hats. Then, for good measure, they take one of their decorative boot spurs and chop them up finely like you would a yellow onion before you throw it on the stovetop — tap, tap, tap with the calf — Emeril comes from behind the red curtain to say “bam!” and before you know it, voila! You have pureed rule. Good for nothing. Especially enforcement. A cowboy no longer recognizes it, and moves on.
Former GOP hopeful Carly Fiorina — now a Cruz ambassador — fell off the stage at a rally in La Porte, Indiana on Sunday. See her do so in the clip below. Then watch Ted’s reaction.
Those spurs are jingling, jangling, ain’t they?
The partnership looks to going along … swimmingly. With enough time (it hasn’t been too long) they’ll even get their dap down.
You’ve heard of the “dead fish” handshake before correct? Well now you’ve seen its feistier cousin — the “Siamese fighting fish”.