The unfortunately named Michael Peacock (pictured right) suffered grievous injuries to one of his testicles when innocent team-building shenanigans went awry in 2012. After three surgeries, Peacock had no choice but to amputate and sue the heck out of everyone involved.

A story as nutty as this begs a single question: Who exactly do you sue when you lose a testicle?

1) The Scene of the Crime

This accident didn’t just occur at a corporate lunch. Coworkers from data security firm Iron Mountain were attending an office bar crawl and mini-cruise when Peacock’s landing party lost a valuable player. Now plagued with chronic pain and sexual issues, Peacock is targeting three venues that contributed to the drunkenness of his coworkers–namely Richard Langtry, his former boss.

2) The Boss with the Grabby Hands

According to legal documents, Peacock’s fallen bean bag was the victim of his drunk boss’s attempt to “bond with Peacock while simultaneously demonstrating his authority and dominance.”

Langtry (pictured left) is much smaller than his 6’8” underling, and he allegedly felt the need to compensate for that height difference with a casual ball tap. But alcohol and gentle fondling never mix well, and Langtry “grabbed [Peacock’s] left testicle, squeezed it hard and pulled it down as if to rip it from his groin.”

Langtry was fired for his conduct, but the damage of his absurd bonding maneuver was done.

3) The Office that Dropped the Ball

Nobody likes being made fun of. Peacock is suing Iron Mountain for unfair treatment after his accident. Apparently, coworkers made Peacock the subject of immense ridicule after his sperm center was halved, and his salary was slashed in order to encourage him to move on from the company altogether.

Puns aside, this is a stressful and terrible injury to happen to anyone. Protect your package.