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Picture a Hummer in blood red paint, draped in additional armor, and purring idle on your driveway … AFTER you’ve pierced its metallic butt with pegasus steroids (replace the carbon atoms with iron, or titanium, or something) for the past year or so. You know: Optimus Prime but without the bipedality and the darling face. Feed it carbs and oil and more carbs. Repeat.

After a certain period of time you’d have the following vehicle in your short little garage roadway.

You’d have “The Marauder”, the trucky, ten-ton monster depicted in the footage below — the creation of mad South African engineers who wanted something that could brave lions, bombs and other much-publicized hazards.

You’ll never look at an SUV the same way again:

Furthermore, if you drive this colossal puppy at midnight you’re either hungry and bellyaching to get to the convenience store OR you’re a ritualistic, over-the-top diehard A Tribe Called Quest fanatic.

Or, both.