This guy in New Hampshire, let’s call him Nicholas Dupras (because that’s his name, actually, and also: that’s his face in the photograph above) had a bright idea (not really, but stay with us for a second here). He was going to rob a supermarket out of more than a hundred bucks of stuff, with nothing but a can of pepper spray as his getaway weapon, because, hell — in his mind the only obstacle he’ll have to overcome is some scraggly old codger who’s doing security for the store and sporting a coffee-stained uniform that doesn’t fit with one of those little flashlights in a tired, worn holster.

Dupras is likely thinking he’ll skip to his residence (assuming it’s not a church basement), stolen crap in hand, including the Ben & Jerry’s he managed to nab smoothly from the freezer aisle, and grab a dirty spoon and enjoy some Cherry Garcia sugar.

What’s that line about mice and men?

Yeah, his good fortune (if there is such a thing for criminals) evaporated mighty quickly, because when he ran out of the grocery shop and away from its in-house security, he skipped right into the purview of two former Marines — Devin Sullivan and Nick Fiorentino — who were just exiting their gym after a productive daytime workout.

Ooh.

Ooh. Rah.

Guess what happened next?

This from the New Hampshire Union Leader:

Fiorentino, 26, said he initially thought Dupras was reaching for a weapon until he saw the cloud of pepper spray.

Fiorentino said a trace of the chemical caught him in the face, but he had experienced worse in his training as a Marine. The wind blew the spray right back into the face of Dupras, whose eyes still appeared irritated in the mug shot police released Monday.

“It didn’t really work out too well for him,” Fiorentino said Monday.

Police said Sullivan grabbed Dupras in a bear hug and Fiorentino helped take him down from there. An off-duty police officer on his way into the store placed Dupras in handcuffs until other officers arrived.

“It seems we were at the right place at the right time,” Sullivan, 27, said.

The two Merrimack men both work security at Seabrook nuclear power plant. They said they served as Marines, and are interested in law enforcement careers.

“Once he pulled out the spray, it became personal at that point,” Fiorentino said. “We weren’t really concerned about what he stole or if he stole anything. It was just the nature of what happened. It looked like he was going to hurt her (the security guard), then he tried to hurt us. That’s why we stepped in.”

Dupras was charged with robbery.