Blake Hall
Imagine, for a second, that you and your woman (or man) get in a feud. A really bad yelling match over something stupid. Not that hard to imagine, right? Couples fight. It’s just the way of the world — like taxes and the rain falling and the birds flying south for the winter. Oh, and the Cubs not winning the World Series.
Okay so your sweetheart is steamed. Now imagine, again, (this is nutty but bear with us) that you’re a famous sculptor — really super talented — and to smooth things over you went ahead and created, on a whim, THIS:
Haha.
Might turn the tides and patch things up with your sweet darling, huh? If it didn’t, there’s a six-letter word we hope you’d know how to spell correctly (s-i-n-g-l-e).
However, the point is moot, because you’re not Jeff Koons (the millionaire artist who created the above work that sits in front of a museum in Bilbao, Spain). You’re yourself, and while that’s fine, you’re still empty-handed when it comes to a magic potion to make it all right when your better half wants to make it smart with a rubber mallet.
Don’t worry, we got you.
(And so does 1-800Flowers.com, who have a whopping 20% off deal for military veterans through this link)
Here’s a short, easy list of blooms to get up to speed on that’ll not only do the trick, but put your universe back in order (and just in time for summer):
Clematis
This is actually a vine, but it has flowers (as you can see) and they come in various colors from deep red to light blue to purple and white. They’re part of a buttercup family and originate from China and Japan. Some, not all, call them by silly names like “old man’s beard” and “virgin’s bower” and “traveler’s joy”.
Veronica
And you thought it was a comic book character. Or an Elvis Costello song. No, no, no. It’s so much more. It’s a delicate flower that’s as versatile as a utility knife. Put it in a bouquet or set it out on the table. Either way, it’ll grab an eye or two.
Nigella
These will dazzle in that looks-wild-but-also-looks-like-they-belong-in-a-fancy-wedding kind of way. And you’ll seem so much more sophisticated and deep and thoughtful if you hand her these in lieu of the traditional roses or carnations, etc.
Cosmos
Okay so these are legit “wildflowers”. If your mate is into Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Automatic points for you if you get these in a bundle. They’re actually often seen sprouting up along highways and roads. BUT they’re beautiful! Wild, free and jaw-dropping. What’s more American than that guys?
Aster
They’re like daisies, if the late Prince were their creator. They come in pink, lavender or white, and they’re known for their gritty and lasting nature. They’re perennials, by the way (good word to throw around when talking about flowers — especially ones that are indeed “perennials”).
Dahlias
You might be familiar with the the “Black Dahlia” — a nickname given to Elizabeth Short, the victim of an infamous brutal murder in Los Angeles right after World War II.
Clearly that’s not what’s pictured above.
It’s a dahlia, which isn’t bloody or gory at all. It’s a wonderfully eye-pleasing bushy perennial that originally came from the country of Mexico (it’s been their national flower since 1963).