This bogus United States military member should take this show on the road. Maybe hire the guy who filmed the following lunacy and do an Abbott and Costello-styled routine. Tour the bases and camps all around the world.
If the real soldiers and Marine and sailors and airmen didn’t murder him, he’d make a pretty penny doing his shammy performance.
Of course, it is what it is — not “intentional” comedy by any means. This guy is really trying to convince the dude behind the lens that he’s a bona fide warrior.
Wait until you hear the line about getting a Purple Heart for getting hit in the chest with a pie.
That’s right. A pie.
Or learning to use a sword in Japan.
He does a little Elvis kung fu, too. And some bullsh*t Korean grunting.
Oh … you’re going to love this.
Meet Al. He can be your bodyguard.