There are a few things you can count on when you watch a “stolen valor” video.

The first is that it’ll never be captured from a wide angle and be conducive to the widescreen, landscape-dimensioned YouTube format (i.e. tons of black space as if you’re looking through an enlarged keyhole).

The second is that the posers nabbed are always so bad at recounting their fake backstory. You would think they would have it down, considering they already went through all the trouble of putting together the uniform, the phony badges and regalia that they never (of course) earned.

The third is that the words “disgrace” and “illegal” will arise.

What you can’t count on, however, is that the incident filmed will be legitimate, or possess the requisite circumstances — legally, logically and/or morally — to exist solidly as a true case of stolen valor. In other words, people love to stretch it and exaggerate and tag things that aren’t, because they know how downright pornographic it is and how much attention it’ll garner. Especially in the military community.

The following video is not one of these huckster attempts at stolen valor. It’s real and ugly and bad, and the pretender in question is most likely reaping financial rewards from wearing his fake uniform — which if you ask a lawyer is the legal definition of stolen valor.

According to its source, the footage was taken by a bunch of military members (Air Force and Army) in Tucson, Arizona. The man posing as a soldier claims he’s a member of the 7th Special Forces Group. He also says he’s E7.

See for yourself: