Sitting on your baby’s lap. Sipping on a tall boy. Feeling your oats. Grooving to the Top 40. Feeling loved and cherished and buzzed. Honestly — what more could you need? Especially when it’s a beautiful spring day and the sun is out and the shade from the porch’s construction lets in a sweet-smelling, sympathetic breeze, as your honey murmurs sugary pleasantries in your ear. Is there anything that could possibly enhance this wonderfully pastoral, warm motif playing out in real life?

According to the lady you’re going to meet in the following video, there is. And it has to do with telling a former United States Marine that you served in the military as a U.S. Special Forces soldier for a decade (give or take).

Lying. It has to do with lying. And this woman really doesn’t know when to stop.

For someone who “can’t talk about it”, she’s sure doing a lot of talking now isn’t she?

Best part? Her explaining that she was “undercover” (to be a part of U.S. Special Forces perhaps?) even before she finished boot camp. Whatever that means …

By the way, is that a BL Marg?