If you’re a sailor in the United States Navy, you may not want to read this.

Because, in all likelihood, if you do you’ll rage with envy. Or gluttony. Or thirst. Or all three.

Here’s the “TL;DR”: French sailors, at least aboard the aircraft carrier named after their former famous leader Charles de Gaulle, while doing naval things currently in the Persian Gulf, get to live it up in a bohemian and very Parisian way.

They can drink beer. Wear beards. And retire after just 15 years with a pension.

This from the Military Times:

On the aircraft carrier Charles de Gaulle, the French navy’s one and only flattop, the galley is filled with bins of fresh-baked croissants and baguettes. Squadron ready rooms are typically stocked with espresso machines and dark chocolates. The berthing compartments have carpet. And the French sailors here have coveralls that are far more hip than those worn in the U.S. Navy.

There are four — count them, FOUR — bars aboard the vessel, serving beer, wine and liquor to both ranks of ensign and enlisted sailors alike (although there is a separate watering hole for officers):

In the officers bar, three polished chrome taps pour Desperado, a Mexican beer, and two flavors of the Belgian beer Affligem. Sailors must pay — a glass will cost 1.25 Euros, or about $1.50.

Drinks are, however, limited to one per day per sailor. But, get this: pilots are expected to put the booze down just four hours before flying.

On the facial hair front, French naval personnel aren’t allowed to grow a beard onboard the carrier (clean-shaven individuals are expected to remain so while at sea) but if you have one when you’re deployed? You get to keep it, so long as you trim it.

Interestingly enough, there are a few U.S. Navy sailors serving on the de Gaulle at the moment. Because they’re on a warship that belongs to France, they get to abide by the rules of the French military. So, they get to imbibe as well.

Here’s what one of them told the Military Times:

“It’s nice once you’ve done your duties. It builds camaraderie,” said an American lieutenant commander and helicopter pilot on the ship, who said he occasionally drops by for a beer or a glass of scotch.

Hard to believe, right? Who’s the commanding officer of this nuclear warship? Marquis de Sade?