This is like … a bunch of surly Fourth of July’s duking it out after one of the Fourth of July’s said something out of line.

If Francis Scott Key saw this over Fort McHenry two centuries ago the national anthem would be a heavy bass line, crunchy guitar riffs and Dave Grohl on drums.

By the way, this footage is courtesy of the Midland Texas Police Department, who lit each and every fuse (we’re assuming) after confiscating them recently.