Guarding the President of the United States is an important job.

It takes gall, a keen eye, a steady hand, good instincts, a better suit, cool electronic earplugs …

… it also necessitates a gun, a badge, a radio, handcuffs, maybe even a flash drive? Things that a certain Secret Service agent, due to a little bit of his own stupidity, no longer has.

Because, according to a report filed by Washington DC’s Metropolitan Police Department, the aforementioned essential crimefighting belongings were stolen from the agent’s personal vehicle that was parked on G Place downtown, around 4 p.m. on Monday.

It states that he returned to his car and noticed that the back rear window had been “unzipped”, and that “a bag with the listed property was taken out of the vehicle.”

“Unzipped”? Was he driving a sweatshirt?

This from CNN:

The report lists a black Sig Sauer handgun, an APX6000 radio, handcuffs, a USB flash drive, a black Patagonia bag and a Secret Service badge, number 1266, as the stolen items.

The agent, who isn’t named in the report but who a source said works in the Presidential Protective Division, saw a person reaching into the vehicle, the report states, “but didn’t see him take anything out.”

The Secret Service declined Tuesday to comment on the incident. But a law enforcement official noted that the USB is encrypted and password protected and argued the theft does not appear to be a threat to the agency.

It’s not known what was contained on the stolen flash drive.