Have you ever boiled a pumpkin?

You haven’t?

Okay … good. Because then the most recent kitchen-themed Martha Stewart-esque threat posed by North Korea will slide right off your back.

According to sources in London, fearless leader Kim Jong-un has “unveiled” a brand-spanking new missile system which he says possesses the ability to turn enemy tanks into stewing, simmering orange squash plants.

He says the large laser-guided weapons have the “longest firing range in the world” and are as “accurate as a sniper’s rifle”.

No way are either of these claims true, but screw it, it’s North Korea and Kim Jong-un and they’re going to shoot their mouths off and say whatever.

This from Zee News, out of India:

The state-run KCNA news agency said, “He (Kim) noted with great satisfaction that even the special armored tanks and cars of the enemies which boast their high maneuverability and striking power are no more than a boiled pumpkin before the anti-tank guided weapon”.

The weapon is to be be deployed to the frontline units and coastal defense units, the report said.


Oh, and curiously enough, this isn’t the first time North Korea has used that strange comparison. Back in 2013, they called the entire United States mainland a boiled pumpkin, according to a story published by Bloomberg.

In the piece, they were also quoted as saying that Hillary Clinton is a “funny lady” who is “by no means intelligent” and that the former president of South Korea is a “rat”.