Contrary to popular belief, there are many ways you can thank a veteran for their service. And many of them don’t even include actually saying the words “thank you”.

You can let them cut you in line at the grocery store. You can pay for their meal at a restaurant. You can give them a raise at work. You can give up your palatial parking spot for them, or stay holding the door walking into a building even though they’re way behind you — like 50 yards or so — when under normal circumstances you would just let the door shut and walk through thinking “hey, that’s their problem, they’re going to have to open the door themselves because I’m not waiting — it would be ridiculous for me to wait THEY’RE NOWHERE NEAR ME …”.

You can also paint them a portrait, buy them a bouquet of flowers, or write them a song … OR — if you happen to be a member of Congress — you can write up bills and/or pass legislation that makes it easier for them to get the assistance they need, whether it be financial or medical or scholastic.

The latter is most preferable. Assuming you’re an elected official.

There are ways to thank a veteran, however, that you should never in a million ways actually choose to go ahead with and perform.

The comedy duo of Greg and Lou not only listed them in the following YouTube video, they acted them out, with the help of a bunch of real U.S. military vets.

Here they are:

The comics, who are part of the Upright Citizens Brigade improvisational comedy troupe in New York City, originally produced this well-written mock PSA to honor Veterans Day back in 2014.