Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States of America, Secretary of the Navy and Army colonel, was as rough a verbal offender as he was a rider. He loved to dish out garbage to people, and while we’re not entirely sure if he could inversely “take it” too, we do know some of the lines he would keep in his pocket. His favorites.

One of them is in the headline above — “afternoon farmer.” It basically means someone who let’s life happen to them and doesn’t do a good job of taking care of their stuff. Late. Behind on the chores. You get the picture.

Also, in Teddy’s world, being “chicken-hearted” was being a wuss, being “cow-handed” was being strange and awkward and a “sauce-box” was an extremely outgoing, almost way-too-forward person. Oh, and an “unlicked cub” is someone who was never taught manners as a child.

As for the more fleshed-out, readymade insults, here’s a few, via the website The Art of Manliness (and just for fun, we ranked them, from last to first, based on our vapidly subjective scale):

11. Classical ignoramus
10. Miserable little snob
9. White livered-weakling
8. Infernal skunk
7. Thorough-paced scoundrel
6. Being who belongs to the cult of non-virility
5. Little emasculated mass of inanity
4. Fragrant man swine
3. Handshake like a wilted petunia
2. Well-meaning, pinheaded, anarchistic crank
1. A mind that functions at six-guinea pig power

How would you rank ’em?