A “sneeze” is defined by the Google dictionary as to “make a sudden involuntary expulsion of air from the nose and mouth due to irritation of one’s nostrils.”

The word “involuntary” is defined as “done without will or conscious control.”

The word “will” is defined as “the faculty of which a person decides on and initiates an action.”

Got all that?

Bring it with you, because we’re about to get into a recent Snapchat** that was screenshot, saved, and posted to Reddit from none other than a current Marine?

That’s what we think anyway, unless this was typed up as a goof and uploaded to social media in the guise of being legitimate. Either way, it’s really daggum jocular (and if it is genuine then someone is out to get someone else, right?) …

snapchat counseling worksheet photo

What it says:

Conduct: SNM was verbally counseled on excessive sneezing on 20150506 at 0930, and was informed that further clearing of his nasal cavity would result in a negative counseling. Excessive sneezing reduces shop morale, and creates fear and apprehension among the Marines, resulting in reduced productivity. At 1005 on 20150506, SNM knowingly disregarded the order to cease all sneezing. SNM understand that the next disregard of non-sneezing orders will result in a 6105 (non-recommendation for promotion), and further infractions will result in non-judicial punishment. SNM will cease all further sneezing, or the above-mentioned disciplinary actions will immediately commence.

** – Okay, this is why Snapchat baffles — the picture above is worthwhile. In that, the person who either received it or shared it wanted to share it AND SAVE IT so that even more eyes could take it in and laugh or get angry or cry or whatever. So, they screenshot it, which goes against the very essence and mission of Snapchat, which is to keep content temporary and fleeting. If they had posted it to another social media platform (Twitter, Facebook or really any other one) it would’ve remained, easily accessible and all without stepping over the line (within the confines of the app, so to speak).